Streaking in a Winter Wonderland...

Days of gold are a rare and glorious occasion out here on the road, and this Monday those of us on MMT2 LP had one! 

For those of you who don't speak "road" a golden day is when you dont have to travel and there is no show. It is an actual, for real, day off! And its amazing! So, the girls and Adam and I decided to head up to majestic Whistler for a day of shopping, eating, and slopes...except we aren't allowed to ski...so more like shopping and eating and watching people skiing. 

Let me say that first and foremost, there are some of the most beautiful men I have ever seen in Whistler, Canada. It made me want to buy an all new Burton outfit, strap on some snow boots, and hit the....couch by a fire in a lodge. Have you ever tried to snowboard? It's impossible, and I look totally not cool trying to do it. I figure I would have more luck sipping hot chocolate by a resting area and using some snow lingo like...

"hey man, that was a great milk run (the first run of the day)" or

" I had to come back in cause I was stuck behind a gaper (a slow skier who looks at the scenery)"

Every guy looks better in a snow hat and huge goggles...but there's just something about those huge clunky boots and the bright red cheeks (remember Nicole Kidman's super blushed face from Cold Mountain?)...plus, I forgot to mention that most of them are Australian or British or from some other super hot accent place. No one in Whistler seemed to be from Whistler and we stood out not only because we were boring Americans, but also because we were some of the only people who clearly had no intention of skiing, or really any intention of snow getting on our bodies at all. So, the intro to Whistler is over...you can picture it....Aspen, Vail, Park City....hot guys, super cold, skiiing, etc...

We ate lunch, stopped in lulu lemon (Rebecca didn't buy anything which should go down in the record books) and then we took the gondola up to the top of Whistler Mountain. 

As we boarded the talking device let us know the ride would be approx. 23 minutes....which seemed like a really long time to be cooped up in a gondola and to try to keep Rebecca from looking down...but I digress...

We make it to the top after a painless 23 minutes of gabbing and watching what looks like a "kid making factory" as little ski tykes ride a conveyor belt to the top of the bunny trail and then ski down to their parents...

So we see the view, spend most of the time in the way of serious skiiers and getting snowed on,  grab the next available gondola headed down and begin the picturesque journey back to our rental car...then Whitney has probably the best idea she has ever had ever. 

Whitney: "Hey guys, take your clothes off. Let's take naked pictures in the gondola."

AWESOME!

Before you can think we are all getting rid of bags, coats, and our many layers until Carla and I are in bras slash tank tops rolled up, Adam is sans shirt, and Rebecca and Whitney are naked from the waist up. Without even thinking. In fact, definitely without thinking. Or considering that any gondola passing us on their way up can see us. We take some pictures (which are hilarious) and are quite happy with ourselves when...the gondola stops. completely. the entire Whistler gondola ceases to move. Beat. Beat. We scramble to put our clothes back on and then nervously joke about how funny it would be if they had stopped the gondola because of us and what an awesome blog it would make if we actually got arrested for indecent exposure on a ski lift. I mean, how funny would it be if we had to miss the show after going to Whistler, but not because we were injured skiing...because we were filming our own version of "Girls Gone Wild in a Gondola"...

After some more hypothesizing,filming a quick follow up video, and getting our various layers back in their rightful place,  the gondola still hasn't moved and we are awaiting further instruction from the talking voice thing, but we aren't hearing anything. 

Luckily we had lots of time to get our "story straight" if we were to be interrogated by Forest Ranger Rick for exposing ourselves in public. Although I dont know if they would've had much sympathy for a "dire need to try on new lulu lemon sports bras in case they dont fit and we dont have them in the States" excuses...

Then, what felt like a half hour later (but was probably ten minutes) the gondola was cruising back down the mountain at its usual pace, with five fully clothed cast members of Mamma Mia safely in tow. Now who says we are boring Americans....

All that and the Kitchen sink...

The time has come...its overdue perhaps....the time for me to leave the road. I have 14 more wonderful weeks on the road and I cannot express how grateful I am to have been out here for 17 months (so far) BUT this hotel room at the Sandman nearly did me in. As in, I almost lost my life. Just five minutes ago, at 1:46 am in the bathroom of my European style hotel room in Vancouver, Canada. 

The first signs that things were not going to go my way were on Monday, on the way to Canada...now, I have never had much luck in this country. There are some wonderful people and a lot of mountains...scenic things and such...but its just soooo frustrating that it is so close to the US and yet so far. They dont sell apples at Subway instead of chips, anything under five dollars is a coin, most of the citizens here have a severe misconception of personal space bubbles, and my super cool iphone costs 59 cents a minute. A minute! Ok, so general griping aside this has been a particularly trying foray into the country I can officially call my second home during my 11th week here since 2007....

The bus ride on the way here provided many picturesque landscapes and attractions, however the Subway where we took our Equity break had no Veggie Patty's or Spinach, then we were stopped at the border and our driver had failed to bring his passport. He thought that a license was enough. Sure, its enough to drive a bus load of people with license, but what about driving to a foreign land with a rather strict border patrol??? We were held at the "border"( for a moment I was reminded of a family trip to Israel when I was 13 and we accidentally took a cab into Palestine and then had to figure out how to get back over...it was very traumatic) for quite some time while the bus bathroom seemed to emanate an unidentifiable, but clearly unpleasant smell that made me want to throw up my wheat bread, onion, pepper sandwich from the Way of Sub. But I kept it down and we carried on to the great city of Vancouver. 

This is the smallest hotel room I have ever seen. Ok, its not as small as a single room at the Milford Plaza, but its quite tight...and theres more furniture than I can fit in my entire apartment in this one room. There are three chairs, a table, an entertainment unit with a small tv and the biggest desk I have ever seen....there is an 8 and a half foot desk in the entry way. I dont know what kind of business they think gets done around here, but they are not joking around. Although the modem is the size of a laptop, so perhaps they are providing you with ample desk space to hook up your computer. 

To make a long story a scooch shorter: Adam and I had some furniture removed, moved the refrigerator from the bathroom and figured out a way for my suitcase to fit in front of the window without catching on fire from the heater. Its a delicate dance, this domestic tour life, and I was just starting to feel like Adam and I had it down to a science when...

A few minutes ago, after watching some episodes of WEEDS Season 2 I decided, on a whim, to pluck my eyebrows...those of you on the road know that this is a perfectly normal middle of the night activity...however, it became a suicide mission when the entire sink came crashing to the ground!!!!! Like, detached from the wall and the cabinetry and came crashing down on top of me. Don't worry I am fine....and I managed to fight my way back into the geyser to retrieve Adam's super expensive Khiels and L'Occitane products. Have no fear, I suffered only minor physical and emotional injuries, as well as unbrushed teeth....and Adam's eyes will not be puffy. 

Pictures will follow tomorrow...only me....this stuff only happens to me...