My own personal "1408"...

We arrived in Montreal around 3:00 in a cloud of fog and one working elevator, but the hotel was nice and we are all just happy to be here. The bus ride basically consisted of listening to Douche and Dingus (aka Geoff and Anthony) attempt to speak the little French they know-which pretty much involves them with a sour look on their face adding the word "le" to everything ("le asshole, le bag of douche, le chapeau,etc), watching them sleep, and enjoying Douche laughing out loud to his episode of South Park. 

Fast forward to me sitting on my bed, booking flights for like June, and getting excited about eating my "skinny cow" dessert bar. We had watched the new and hardly modernized "American Gladiators"- which, by the way, is much improved with the addition of water- and I am feeling excited to eat the low fat treats in my freezer so I dont end up looking like Helgga. (she is GIGANTIC and spells her name with two g's, I have no idea why...oh, Helgga is a Gladiator, in case you had no idea what I was talking about- you should check it out, she's terrifying!)

So, I reach for my popsicle and it is basically a milkshake in a plastic wrapping. Not to be deterred, I begin spooning the caramel substance with the wooden stick until I am forced to lick the wrapping and then investigate the cold to freezing ration happening in the freezer. Ah, there's the rub- the refrigerator wasn't cold. Like, at all.So we call the guy and as he is switching out fridges we realize there are ants in our bathroom. It's going well.  

We are told that we have to switch rooms...always a fun activity when you live on the road, have one day off, and have just finished unpacking basically everything you own. But Carla and I suck it up and head down to our new room. Which is smaller than our previous room, missing a new TV, and a coffee table. Apparently some rooms have tables and others dont. Now, this may seem very boring to you "real" people- people with houses, apartments, and the like. But to those of us on the road the difference between a coffee table and closet is immeasurable. So, we ask to be moved to another room. This new room has a bed up against the kitchen counter. I am not kidding, like- you have to squeeze between the counter and the bed to move forward in the room.  

At this point, Carla and I have belongings in three rooms...I have no shoes on...and our groceries are melting on a luggage cart. So we finally settle in to a room where you cant open the closet doors, but at least there's a flat screen TV and a coffee table. That way I can watch Law and Order with my feet up, while staring at our chair of coats, seeing as we cant hang them in a closet. 

Now we have to let the front desk know we are settled and I realize my sonicare is in a room...some room....somwhere....maybe 1103, perhaps, 1104, 1203, 904, I am not sure....as I go to call the front desk the phone is nowhere to be found. Yup, thats right. It feels as if I am in my own version of the John Cusack movie, "1408"- which I ordered at a hotel at 3 am for some reason...most likely to find out why all of us girls really do love John Cusack and want to have his babies. Unfortunately, this movie did not provide any enlightenment on that, or any other, issue.

Let's hope I dont end up cradling a dead Carla in my arms by the end of the evening while the room fills with snow...sweet dreams....